


Everything I Do, I Do it For You

by Janina



Series: Don't Go Breaking My Heart [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: And More Angst, And angst, Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 10:59:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12252978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janina/pseuds/Janina
Summary: Jon comes clean about Daenerys, Sansa is overwhelmed, and Jaime is afraid he's about to lose everything.





	Everything I Do, I Do it For You

****

**Jon**

Sansa's gaze flickered to him finally, and Jon didn't miss how the Kingslayer tensed beside her. "May I ask what about?" she asked politely.

"I can't say here," Jon murmured and darted a glance about the training yard. "I'd like to speak to you alone if I could."

Sansa frowned. "Is something amiss?"

"No doubt he wants to list for you in detail all the reasons you should not trust me," Jaime said. He wore a bit of a teasing smirk as he said it, but there was an edge to his voice that told Jon he was not teasing. He was worried. 

Sansa must have picked up on it, for she turned a bright and reassuring smile up at him. "As if I would listen to any such thing." She looked at Jon, her smile losing its warmth. "Right, Jon?"

She was challenging him. Or at the very least telling him exactly what he was not to do. As if he would listen. "Of course," he murmured. 

"Very well then," Sansa said, attempting to sound cheerful. "Where would you like to talk?"

"How about the Godswood?" Jon asked. 

She nodded. "Very well then."

"And what shall I tell the Dragon Queen should she come looking for you?" Jaime drawled. 

Jon's jaw clenched, not liking the reminder of Daenerys, nor the fact that Jaime seemed intent on reminding Sansa and apparently Jon, lest he _ever_ forget, that he had “bent the knee” and she considered him part of her counsel. 

He didn't want to think about what would happen the day he had to tell her she was his aunt. She was already getting terse about the fact that he never visited her bed.

Jon realized that by letting Sansa in on his plan he was risking much, but there wasn't anyone he trusted more than her. And besides, he couldn't stand her not knowing. Couldn't stand the knowledge that had he not tricked Daenerys as he had Sansa never would have come to rely on Jaime as much as she did. Jon should be the one she whispered and laughed with. He should be the one she shared ale with in the evening - he had been once, before he left for Dragonstone.

It pained him to have this distance there between them. He loved Sansa. He needed Sansa. He had to make this right. 

"Tell her I am speaking with my sister alone," Jon said and met Jamie's green-eyed gaze straight on.

Jaime's eyes narrowed and Jon was the one now smirking.

“I trust you to protect her,” Jaime said.

“Do you think I would not protect Sansa?” Jon demanded.

Jaime didn’t answer him, instead he looked down at Sansa and smiled, though it appeared force. “I’ll see you later then, Your Grace?”

Sansa smiled up at him, a fondness in her eyes that Jon did not like one bit. “Of course.” She patted his arm, tossing him one last smile and then she nodded to Jon and started for the Godswood. Jon followed, shooting a glare at Jaime just before he fell into step beside Sansa. He rather hoped a stray arrow found its way into the Kingslayers heart.

Once in the Godswood, Jon made sure Sansa was seated under the Weirwood Tree before he began to explain exactly what he had done...

****

**Sansa**

Sansa could scarce wrap her mind around it. She stared at Jon, her mouth open, and she shut it and looked away. The ground did not feel under her feet any longer. She felt a bit adrift.

“Say something, Sansa,” Jon said softly and knelt before her, his expression earnest. 

She looked down at him. “You’re telling me that bending the knee was a ruse?”

“I never actually even bent it, Sansa. I just said I would.”

“You said you pledged to her. Jaime was there. You said it to Cersei.”

“Aye, I did. But only because I knew that I risked losing Daenerys’s dragons if I didn’t. I knew it would make me, us, the North, a further enemy of Cersei’s, but I knew fairly early on that she was no going to help our cause, Sansa.” He stood. “I took a great risk, I know, but there are two volatile queens here and I stood the chance of losing everything I needed to fight the White Walkers. With Daenerys on our side against Cersei, we may stand a fighting chance against the Wights and against Cersei.” He made a face. “Unless of course Jaime is her spy and he plans to kill us all in our sleep—”

“Don’t say that about Jaime. He would not.”

“How do you know? After all they did to hide their affair?”

“We’re not here to talk about his actions,” she snapped. “We’re here to talk about yours.”

Jon held up a hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you? You’re taking a great risk - putting us all at risk, actually. What is your plan, Jon, for after the Wights are defeated?”

He sighed. “I don’t know quite yet. I was hoping you’d have ideas.”

She stared at him, utterly disgusted. “I can’t believe you.” She walked away from him, wrung her hands together and then turned and looked at him. “You’re telling me the truth? You ‘bent the knee’ for her dragons? You played upon her feelings for you just to get them?”

“Yes. It was the only way I could think to ensure she would help us, Sansa. Without them, we don’t have much hope. And now with one of them turned…” He sighed. “You told me not to make the same mistakes as Father and Robb.”

“Your uncle, you mean?”

He nodded, pursing his lips together. “Yes. My uncle.”

“You laid with her. Made her believe that you have aligned with her. How did you not make the same mistake? You could get us all killed now.”

“I’d rather play my odds in fighting her than fighting the dead,” Jon said softly. “I thought only of our home. Of the North and our people.” He strode forward and took her hands. “I thought only of you.”

“Jon—”

“I love you, Sansa.”

“I know—”

“No, you don’t. I’m in love with you. I was before I left, I was while I was gone, and nothing I did with her changed any of that. The thought of you turning into one of those monsters…” His eyes welled up in tears. “I couldn’t bear it. Everything I did, I did it for you.”

“You laid with her,” Sansa whispered. 

“I had to make her care.”

She looked up at him, eyes full of tears. “Why do you tell me this now?”

“Because I can’t stand you not knowing. I can’t stand having your ire. You won’t look at me; you won’t talk to me...you spend all your bloody time with the Kingslayer—”

“Don’t call him that.”

“Why do you defend him so much?! Do you not remember what he did to our brother?”

“I do remember. And he was a different man then.”

“Stop defending him, Sansa!”

“I love him!”

Silence fell. Jon stared at her. The only sound around them was the snow falling. A small gust of wind. A whistle through the trees. 

Jon shook his head. “No. No you don’t.”

“You weren’t honest with me,” she whispered. “You kept me out of the loop.”

“Are you saying that if I - if I had told you…? Are you saying that you felt the same way?”

She nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks. 

Jon gripped her by the shoulders. “Your feelings can’t have just disappeared. You must still have feeling for me—”

She stepped away from him. “I can’t do this right now.”

“Sansa, we have to work this out. I’m going mad without you.”

“I went mad without you here for so long,” she said, crying now. “I’m sorry, Jon.”

She turned and ran, the wind whipping at her face. She needed to get away, to think...to wrap her mind around all Jon had told her. 

How was this possible? How was this happening? 

Why couldn’t he have just been _honest_ with her?! 

****

**Jaime**

Sansa ran into the castle with tears streaming down her face and just as he was about to go after her, he found Jon storming into the courtyard, looking a thundercloud. 

Jaime stepped in front of him. “What did you do to her?”

Jon shoved him. “I did nothing.”

“Sansa crying is nothing to you? What did you do, bastard?”

Angrily, Jon shoved him again, causing Jaime to stumble backwards. Chest heaving, he pointed at Jaime. “Stay away from her.”

“Afraid I can’t do that,” Jaime said. “And I won’t.”

“You’d best sleep with one eye open,” Jon hissed and marched off. 

Turning on heel, Jaime stalked into the castle and made his way up to Sansa’s solar. He rapped on the door. “Sansa, you in there?”

“I am. I wish to be alone right now, Jaime.”

“I’ll tell you what I just told Jon: I’m afraid I can’t do that. Please let me in, love.”

Jaime had a bad feeling. A very bad feeling. What could have made Sansa cry like this? What had Jon said to her? When she opened the door for him and stepped aside, he kicked it shut with his foot and then gathered her up in his arms. Sansa wound her arms around his neck and laid the side of her face against his shoulder. “He--he’s been tricking Daenerys all this time. He only bent the knee and laid with her to make her care about him enough to want to help him fight the Wights. He didn’t mean it; he didn’t want any of it, he just wanted her dragons.”

That wasn’t all. Jaime knew it. He tightened his arms around her. “What else?”

Sansa now buried her face in his chest. “He said he’s in love with me,” she whispered. “That everything he did was for me. To protect the North, our people, Winterfell….”

“And you,” Jaime whispered. 

“And me,” she confirmed softly. 

No. This wasn’t happening. He’d just got her! Was he going to lose her already? He’d just been found and saved...was she going to cast him out? Tell him she hadn’t meant any of it? 

Gods, he couldn’t bear it. 

“Do you love him back?” he croaked. 

“I told him I love you,” she said and looked up at him. 

“But do you love him, too?”

“Jaime—”

“Sansa, it’s a simple question. Yes or no will suffice.”

“I loved him for a long time, Jaime.”

Jaime felt as though he’d been pierced through the heart. He stepped back, gasping, feeling as though he couldn’t breathe. 

“Jaime, listen to me,” she said and reached for him. 

He shook his head and stumbled back toward the door. 

“Jaime, I do love you!” she exclaimed, fresh tears in her eyes. 

“But you love him, too,” he whispered and made it to the door. He opened it, stumbled out of it, and walked as fast as he could away from her. He didn’t want her to see his heart shatter even if he was pretty sure it just had. At her feet.


End file.
